


Exception to the Rule

by jeweniper



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, Food, Gen, Mayonnaise, Space Mall, breakweek2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeweniper/pseuds/jeweniper
Summary: Lance is a roll-with-the-punches kind of guy, and we all know that such adaptability relies on a few very important principles, undeniable values if you will. One of these involves mayonnaise.Sometimes even the most important rules have to be broken.





	Exception to the Rule

**Author's Note:**

> I had this stupid hc about mayo and spring break week on tumblr gave me an opportunity to write a little piece about it! Believe it or not I'm not dead, and slowly (so slowly) working on my Sandman AU. But in the meantime, this.

“Keith,” Lance says. Or rather, he chokes, the word leaping out like a droplet of oil fleeing the inferno of a skillet. “What is that?”

 

“Hm? Oh they actually had these little packets at that Earth store where you got Kaltenecker...pretty cool, huh?” He returns to his task of squeezing said packet over a rubbery slab of what passes for bread in this quadrant. There isn’t even anything else on it. Is this what counted as a meal in the desert? Is this not the definition of tragedy?

 

He looks away, watching clusters of aliens amble through the main floor of the space mall, where they’ve stopped for a little day of shopping and relaxation, and exhales slowly. They’re friends now. He’d better be delicate. “Is that mayonnaise?”

 

“Yeah.”

“With nothing else? Just a hip little slice of mayo-toast?”

Pidge, who has been resting with them near a water feature (which is spouting colorful streams of light rather than, y’know, water) slows in working on her laptop and gives Lance an exasperated look.

Keith pauses with the partially-eaten disk of rubbery not-bread an inch from his mouth. “Yeah…”

Lance lances his hands behind his neck for two quiet seconds. And then, “Keith. My buddy, my man, my dude, my misguided furry friend--”

“Hey!”

“You’ve got to be joking. I mean, mayonnaise  _ isn’t _ food. In ANY galaxy.”

 

Pidge sighs so loud it’s amazing to think she had all that air in her little body. “Nice going Kogane, now he’ll NEVER shut up.”

“How is this  _ my _ fault!?”

“I’m just saying,” Lance hurriedly continues, releasing his hands to raise them high above his ears, “that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and way of life UNLESS it’s mayonnaise! People who eat that aren’t valid and that’s the tea!”

“We’re not having tea??”

Pidge’s annoyance crumbles and she collapses on the edge of the fountain, laughing until she has to lean into Keith’s (disgruntled, affronted, confused) shoulder for support. “You poor thing.”

 

Keith opens his mouth to retort and then seems to think better of it, eyeing Lance coolly as he brings the disk closer to his lips. 

“Keith!” Lance barks in high-pitched warning. “I’m saying this for your own good!”

So Keith nods at him solemnly. Then he opens wider.

And shoves the rest of the hellish snack into his mouth.

 

He can’t help it. He screams. Meanwhile Pidge’s new bout of howling nearly sends her tumbling into the fountain. Hunk chooses this moment to appear between a couple of six-winged aliens who have stopped in front of the commotion. They glance at him and scurry away, and Hunk eyes them all with a cautious smile. “What’s up, guys?” He is holding a nondescript sac.

 

“Hunk!” Lance smiles, betrayal of his good intentions all but forgotten. “How was your shift at Vrepit Sal’s?”

He brightens. “Good! Also I found some stuff in the back and he said I could take it to go, so I made a couple of sandwiches...you guys want any?” He places one into Lance’s outstretched hand without even looking.

Pidge waves his offer away.

“No thanks, just ate,” Keith says with a small nod.

While Hunk eases into a story from his shift, Lance half-listens and slowly unwraps the waxy covering from around the sandwich (utilizing more of that bland, rubbery bread but he’ll take anything as a break from food goo). He takes a hefty bite right through the side and stops. Beneath the tough stretch of some sort of meat jerky and the stringy texture of a salad green he recognizes from a planet they liberated a few quintents ago, a very familiar lukewarm glob slides around the back of his tongue. He and Pidge make eye contact and she grins wickedly.

He swallows. “Heya, Hunk?”

“Yeah buddy?” He takes his own healthy bite of his sandwich and hums in satisfaction.

“Does this have mayonnaise in it?”

“Yep! I love mayo. Oh I should’ve asked, is that cool?” His eyes widen and his lips tip down in preparation to apologize.

Pidge is still grinning, hard. “Yeah Lance, is that cool?”

Just behind her, Keith crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. They give him time to answer.

 

“That’s cool. Just checking.” He takes another huge bite of the sandwich and swallows it down mildly.

“What?!” Keith cries as Pidge mutters, “boring.”

“ _ What _ nothing, mullet. Hunk and all he does is always valid.”

Hunk pats his arm with an expression that is two parts grateful and one part confusion. “Thanks, man.”

  
  



End file.
